Why I Reject Love.

March 16th, 2009 by blackmami

A boy says, “Women -

-tell me how is it when some one tries to care and love you -for real -when we send you flowers on your door -and share what we write just to you -does this make you feel good to belittle a man who really loves you -gives you nice things -bends over backwards to please you -

-what is wrong with being loved?

I don’t understand why you reject love when you know the thing we have here is totally real..”

Here are reason why I reject love:

1. I am evil

I am a pretty hardcore narcissist. Trust is very very important value in whatever I do in life.

For example: Being a doctor. A doctor has to trust himself that he could treat a patient with all the knowledge and skills he earned. A doctor has to trust himself that he is sure he knows what he is doing. Would you let someone who has doubt with himself to play with your life? - NO.

My point is..I need to feel comfortable saying, “I love you”. I need to feel content when I started sharing dreams and future with someone. I need reassurance not only that I am the only one, but also the words we poured onto each other will be fulfilled, at least tried.

2. I am not in a good state for a relationship

If there is no trust, there is nothing to look forward to with you. I just have to be with myself and someone else. Damn, I need good friends and my family.

3. I am recently hurt

The only answer to “Why do we hurt the most, The ones we love the most?”..

4. I didn’t like his approach

I never met a guy who is sensitive enough to know what he is supposed/should to do when rough time comes. I didn’t mean romantic guy because I believe they are all always full of bullshit.

P/S: Damn, I keep going falling into relationship with the same type of guy!!! It is hard to hit the one you exactly want, really. Looking back into my past relationships, I found they are all somewhat imperfect as an individual and yet, perfecting each other. You know what I mean?

Let say, your first bf has A criteria (eg. money) that you like, but B criteria (eg. compassion) that you wish he had. Then you guys broke up…Later on, you fell for another guy, with B criteria you like (wish your ex had), but didn’t have the A criteria that you would prefer (like your ex has)…Nobody is perfect. I think the guys would probably think the same way as I do ..

Well, I take Love-relationship seriously. I am not afraid of being lonely or being the only one who stuck in the middle of horny sex/kissing/groping/love-dialogue scene. Because Love is not those things you see outside. Its the fire inside that flames for many many years..

Only 1 out of 10 long-term relationships has the most fascinating feelings/nervous/heat-beats/shakes/butterflies-in-the-stomach towards each other like they were first met. Haih, I wish to be that 1 out of 10
Standard too high? Heh, at least I don’t wish for someone like Edward Cullen!

eRTi sAhAbAt

pe erTi sebuah persahabatan sebenarnya???
ehm..ssh nk ckp r psl sahabat nie cz kdg2 kte rse 2 r
shbt yg plg bek tp sbnr nyer dia lh yg plg durjana..huhu
ssh nk cri shbt yg sentiasa disisi x kire ssh atau sng..
tp klu nk dpt kn shbt yg bek kte kne r jd seorg shbt yg bek gak...
sbnr nyer rmai je shbt bek di sekeliling kte tp kte je yg xnmpk
cz kte slalo pndg buruk kt owg...ish3
sebenarnya dlm kehidupan kite shbt sgt penting
cz idup tnpa shbt ni ibarat idup sebatang kara..
pe yg pntg kte kne hargai shbt yg kte de skrg..
ilang seowg shbt ibarat ilang nyawa..
pe yg penting jdi lh sahabt yg sejati semoga kite akn dpt seowg sahabt yg sejati gak...

terkeNang SEBUah memori lalu,
kisah pershabatan kite bersama,
didalam 1 pngajian,
menuntul ilmu dan pengalaman,
mengingatkan ku,
pengorbanan mu,
terpahat padu dikalbuku,
bersama rakan taulan dan guru,
tawa ria mu menghiburkan ati ku,
indah nya rasa ketika itu,
terjalin ukhwah sejati,
nasihat mu sungguh,
bermakna bg ku,mengenalkan ku erti kehidupan,
susah payah kite hadapi bersama,
itulah asam garam dalam kehidupan...

k lastly terima kasih pada semua sahabt yg sudi b'sahabt dgn ak slama ni
walaupun ak bkn lh seowg sahabt yg bek...thank a lot